Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the SAVE command,
But got instead a reprimand.
It read: "ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE."
Was this some occult illusion?
Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon, himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one---
Choose: "ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE".
With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending,
Hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee,
Finally, I pressed a key---
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: "ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE".
I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards,
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation,
Trying random combinations.
Still, there came the incantation---
Choose: "ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE".
There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
by my own machine accosted.
Getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight,
A bold and blinding flash of light,
A lightning bolt that cut the night and shook me to my very core!
The PC screen collapsed an died,
"Oh no! My database!", I cried.
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You'll see your data -- Nevermore!"
To this day, I do not know
The place to which our data go.
Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity -- well,
I fear that it goes straight to Hell.!
And that's the tale I have to tell ---
Your choice: ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE.
Anonymous, with apologies to Edgar Allen Poe